In my previous lockdown diary post, I talked about my learnings from this enforced period of isolation and my plan for exercising greater discernment when normal life (or whatever constitutes normal life after lockdown) is reinstated.
I am guilty to the charge of having bought into the cult of busy in the past. Partly I suspect that this is as a result of my being a bit of an adrenaline junkie. I have thrived under the pressure of juggling so many balls and pushing myself hard to the finish line. At least I thought I was thriving.
There is also little doubt that we define ourselves by what we do, and there is a degree of bragging rights about how much we are handling both at work and at home.
The health, the mental clarity and peace that I have experienced over the last few weeks is as a direct consequence of not being busy and by allowing myself the opportunity to do the things that make my soul sing.
Quiet hours reading, knitting a snood, taking long walks, baking a cake, none of these activities are boast worthy. None of them make my pulse beat faster or give me a visceral sense of achievement. But it is simple pleasures like these that centre me and connect me to my authentic self.
I have discovered the art of doing nothing. Simply pottering, with no aim or objective. It has taken a little while to do so without feeling guilt, but again, the benefits have been manifested in a deep sense of relaxation and calm.
I have connected again with my home as my haven, a place I enjoy being and not just somewhere to be when there is nowhere better to go.
There is space in my days to breathe, and just to be. I want to keep this space.
So, things will have to change.
I don’t have all the answers but I am prepared to make a start.
Softly, softly will be the approach. Focusing first on my physical self, it will mean making movement a priority. Blocking out regular time in my work calendar to go for a run or walk, and keeping this time sacrosanct. Everyone is entitled to a break during the work day and I intend to stop gifting this to appointments that could easily fit either side of my designated personal time.
It means maintaining the habit I have now developed of drinking water instead of coffee. It is making my own healthy lunches and not falling into the trap of falling ravenously on a carbo and calorie dense but impossible to resist cheese scone from a local café.
It means being mindful of the time eater that is the internet. No more losing hours to endless scrolling when I could be enjoying a blissful bath or book, or both. It means doing less. Or nothing at all.
It means developing a more relationship as opposed to task centric approach to life. Taking the time to nurture relationships and making that a priority above all other things. Who cares if the floors don’t get washed, really? This also includes the relationship I have with myself.
It means spending more time at home. I know that may sound a little crazy when we have spent the last month nowhere else but home. But it is at home and not at the shops or the café or the after work drinks that I have found my true happy place.
One step at a time as we get close to the lockdown being lifted. I go back to work next week, so will take the first steps on this new and exciting journey.
I hope you will join me.
Quietly Quaintrelle 